I'm reading some of the "favorite" student emails that faculty are sharing on the Chronicle of Higher Education's discussion forum and trying not to laugh (or roll my eyes). I especially like the approach advocated here though. Instead of getting angry when you get an email like one of these, this professor advocates:
"save them in a special folder to share with colleagues later. Thus, my first reaction to this message was one of glee ("I can't wait to show this one to Prof. CornerOffice!") instead of anger and frustration ("must.. control... fists!"). It's so much better for my stress level."
I had a student email me at the beginning of this semester asking if it was ok if he missed the first FOUR weeks of classes...
You can add your own favorite student emails here: https://chronicle.com/forums/index.php/topic,29894.0.html